Glad Tidings
There is good news on the Raniere front.
Keith Raniere was always a cut-up and prankster extraordinaire.
His wide-eyed fans, blindly obedient followers, and confused devotees finally have a real-life depiction of their Vanguard, who could do everything – such as make a seven-day week turn into ten days around his birthday on August 26.
He would appear on the third day of his birthday celebration and still have a week left to celebrate.
To attend Vanguard Week, his followers paid $2,000 + for a 10-day tribute, called Vanguard Week.
V-Week has been relatively tame since his incarceration, with prices and attendance plummeting.
Keith Raniere’s “Culty Cut Ups”
For now, comes a special offer. It speaks for itself, and one should order fast while supplies last.
Raniere has joined other top-notch cult leaders like Jim Jones and whoever that blonde man is in the picture below as a world-famous cult leader. You can dress him in different outfits for only $20 with the paper doll cut-out art below.
You can buy a 2024 calendar too for just $30…
Or if you like looking at Raniere’s muscular gams, consider a mug for $19…
Snow Globe
And in time for Christmas 2120 for only $25, we have the Raniere’s Exceptional Clarity Tempered-glass Artisanal Landscape (Rectal ™)
Followers may recall the old days when Raniere would create a new NXIVM course, computers went on the blink, radar detectors went off, and it would suddenly snow in Albany in the middle of January.
Celestial Wonder
Each unique and perfect flake dances its ballet of frozen beauty through the sky.
They cascade from the heavens and descend to earth, blanketing the ground in an icy embrace, but a barrier invisible to the naked eye called unification, which no suppressive can imagine, prevents not a single flake from marring the sanctity of his transcendental harmony,
The Snowflakes’ Celestial Choreography
To get your Raniere snow globe or Raniere paper doll cut up, visit the Fugitive Gift Registry online store, and get your tribute to Raniere products.
Vintage Raniere
I am reminded of how Raniere once solved the problem of a well-to-do devotee who was having a reaction to the fact that she lost her key ring, which had the key to her safe, which contained the cash she was going to invest in the commodities market under Raniere’s guidance.
Raniere designed a simple flier to pass around the neighborhood:
It is still a mystery how a thief got in without any visible marks of breaking and entering on either the front or back door. The burglary distracted her from her reaction to losing her keys to the fact that they took the safe. She could no longer invest in commodities with Raniere, which made her appreciate him much more.
Although she perhaps never realized that the net results of investing with Raniere in the commodities market would have been identical to a thief taking her money.
Vanguard Week begins this year on August 23, at a place to be determined.
Viva Executive Success!
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