By Mary Fredericks
In response to my article Hebephilia? Underage Teens Advised to Masturbate, Sext and Watch Porn By ‘Expert’ at Healthy Teens Network, one of this website’s regular commenters, “Nice Guy,” wrote about his excessive need to masturbate.
Nice Guy wrote:
“Dear Mary Frederick- All men & young men crank it to women: Grandpas, coworkers, dads, brothers, sons, uncles, and all other male acquaintances, crank it all the time. My generation started-off with National Geographic and graduated to PlayBoy. Now we have the internet. When I was in college, I had sex with 3 different women in a 24hr period…..And guess what? I still cranked it.
“Men crank it!!!!! Get over it !!!!!! Move on!!! Get a f********g life!!!!! Maybe give it a try and you’ll be less stressed out. Sometimes I even do it to fall asleep. 😀”
Nice Guy may have partly missed the point of my article, which was about adults advising children to watch porn, sext and masturbate. But since he brought up his own private practices, I think it appropriate to respond that, traditionally, in our Judeo Christian society [as well as Hindu, Buddhist and Muslim societies] masturbation is not considered a beneficial practice.
I know of no religion that encourages it. In fact the old adage is that if you masturbate too much you will go blind. I think there is a lot of truth in this. I never thought the adage meant literally blind, but, rather, what the ancients meant, the old wise women and men who taught their children this, was that you will lose your inner or spiritual vision.
However, the old timers may not have known all. An even older ancestor, evolutionarily – monkeys and primates – masturbate frequently.
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As a woman who has been married for 25 years, is monogamous, never cheated once on my husband, never even looked at another man, and never once masturbated during our entire marriage, I am extremely healthy, mentally and physically, and I pray, spiritually.
I raised two healthy children, one boy and one girl, both in college. We are affluent, and my husband and I earned our wealth through honest, hard work. We never took a government handout. We are devout Christians.
I cannot help but think that excessive masturbation will make people return to the mind and spirit of the primate. That’s my opinion. I force it on no one. Don’t force your opinions on me either. It is my settled personal belief that masturbation, especially if it is excessive, makes a person dull.
The concept of sex, and the energy it invokes, is best shared with another, as God intended – your spouse. That is my view. I think if a teen can, she or he should save themselves sexually for marriage.
Excesssive masturbators wind up lonely and dulll and irrelevant over time, I believe, because they lose their connection with the spirit and become excessively dependent on physical pleasure. They also habituate themselves to having that pleasure alone instead of sharing it. Sharing that energy with the right person might indeed be the very key to using it wisely. It does, after all, when used with the right person, have the power of God – the power of creation. A human life can be created by the combination of one male and one female in sexual union.
I am convinced that sexual energy should not be squandered and that many mental illness are caused by excessive masturbation and that many people who are in mental distress are chronic and excessive masturbators.
If young people were to save this vital and very potent energy for the right partner, true love would come to them, as God intended. I think this is what the ancients believed and what they believed is embodied in the Bible, and the scriptures of other religions.
History shows that this may be true. Have you not seen from history that when unchastity comes to a society, it soons falls apart. Look at Rome or Greece as examples. This is the very lesson inculcated in the Biblical Sodom and Gomorrah.
Of course, I don’t say I am an expert on everything. I could be wrong. Maybe masturbation will unlock the keys to some golden gate that will make a person more spiritual and wise. It may be a path. So, in fairness to the opposite view, here is the view of a “sexologist” who wrote to me about her idea that constant mastubation – every day, even for half at an hour at a fingering – is just the remedy for much that seemingly ails a woman.
Introduction of Sexologist in Singapore
From Martha Tara Lee
I am a born and bred Singaporean Chinese who is a relationship counselor and clinical sexologist in practice for 11 years in Singapore. This is my profile www.eroscoaching.com/profile.
I am also the creator of the current Sugar and Spice virtual sex festival made up of all Asian faculty (runs for 2 weeks) www.sugarandspice.asia
– It runs Aug 1 to 15
– 2nd run will be Nov 23 – 23
I am also organising a sex and disability virtual festival www.loveabilities.org happening Oct 15 to 19. It will be made up of an international faculty (not just Asians).
I love to explore ways to highlight/ publicise these two festivals created with the aim of supporting more people during these trying times.
Sincerely,
Martha
Author of Love Sex and Everything In Between, Orgasmic Yoga, From Princess to Queen and {Un}Inhibited
Website: www.eroscoaching.com | E-mail: drmarthalee@eroscoaching.com
Facebook: eroscoaching | Twitter: drmarthalee | YouTube: drmarthalee | LinkedIn
***
Clicking on one of the links – for her book on Orgasmic Yoga, I read:
“Orgasmic Yoga is an intimate way of stretching our capacity for pleasure. The premise is that an individual engages in solo sex or self-pleasuring for 30 minutes a day (with 30 days recommended as a suitable duration). Besides recommending 30 unique daily practices, this book will introduce you to seven tools to have a more ecstatic life: pelvic floor exercises, breath, sound, movement, touch, intention and fantasy. I was introduced to the term Orgasmic Yoga as part of my training towards a Certificate in Sexological Bodywork in 2008.
“Sexological Bodywork was offered as a separate course when I was pursuing my Doctorate in Human Sexuality at the Institute for Advanced Study of Human Sexuality.
“I was told that Sexological Bodywork would be profound and life changing. The practices would equip me with more tools to better support my future clients. That was all I needed to know to enroll. Indeed, Sexological Bodywork shifted a lot of things for me and changed my life. I was able to understand and appreciate through embodied practices how our sexuality is connected to the core of who we are and becomes aware of the link between our sexuality and our spirituality.
“Back then, I did not take the home assignments including Orgasmic Yoga seriously. Much as I love learning, I did what I usually do – just enough to earn the credit necessary to pass. Life would re-present the lessons I needed to learn.”
***
Let me break this down a bit:
Orgasmic Yoga is apparently, at least in part, the act of masturbating for 30 minutes a day for some time. Martha trained to get her “Certificate in Sexological Bodywork.” What is that? A sex worker with a certificate? She also pursued her “Doctorate in Human Sexuality” at the “Institute for Advanced Study of Human Sexuality.”
The Institute for Advanced Study of Human Sexuality was an unaccredited, for-profit, diploma mill in San Francisco, California. It was established in 1976 and closed in 2018. Their unaccredited degrees and certificate programs focused on sex therapy, and sexological research. Its library and archives were a collection of adult films, academic sexological and erotological resources, and sex therapy training materials. I can imagine the professors and students watching porn together.
The State of California Bureau for Private Postsecondary Education, an anti-fraud or anti-diploma mill unit of the California Department of Consumer Affairs, determined that the Institute did not meet the minimum legal standards for “offering of bona fide instruction by qualified faculty” in 2014 and it closed shortly after.
Martha may very well be sincere. She may believe her degree makes her an expert. She loves to masturbate and get others to do so and make money from it.
Dr. Martha Lee wrote, “I was told that Sexological Bodywork [masturbation] would be profound and life changing. The practices [masturbation] would equip me with more tools to better support my future clients… Back then, I did not take the home assignments [masturbation] including Orgasmic Yoga [masturbation] seriously.”
Clicking on the link to her Sugar and Spice Festival we learn that it is designed “to change the belief that people raised in traditional societies are unable to express themselves when it comes to sex.”
Yellow Fever Panel by Mistress Ava & Mistress Eva
The Art of Online Stripping by Joyen Santos
The Sex Workout by Munira Muhris
Teaching Our Children about Sex
Understanding Kink by Mistress Ava and Allure Lim
Orgasmic Meditation: A Path to Living in the Erotic
Orgasmic Yoga
Spice up your Sex Life with Kegels
Talking Race in Sex Work
Mindless to Mindful Sex:
Vulva Pleasure 101 by Jasmine King
Knotty Night Danielle Lopez (Nudista)
Supercharging your Libido
BDSM – Domina Chase and Petrick Peticles
Domina Chase keeps a timid slave called Petrick ‘Pet’ Peticles, a weak creature who is under her control at all times.
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So, Dr. Martha, this is definitely not for me. I prefer to be married to a strong and healthy man, who takes his role as father and head of household seriously, as he and I believe God intended. We don’t need to masturbate to find happiness.
I am sorry if it offends you or anyone.
The masturabatory life, or the kink life, may be for you. I believe in freedom, even the freedom to celebrate the old traditions, and criticize the new. But I would not for a moment try to prevent anyone from following what they believe is best for them.
Indeed, Nice Guy, Domina Chase might be available for your cranking pleasure, but you would need permission, I believe, from her.
Your response, preferably without outrage and anger, is welcome.
