Rock Around the Block does not agree with Ruth Graham.
Violent Porn; Abusive, Degrading Sex Promotes a Violent Fascist World
Buying a Prostitute Is Rape; & Porn Promotes Trafficking, Violence Against Women
Rock
For fuck sake, (yawn), not more of this misandrist nonsense, Ruth.
Ruth
That sentence says a lot about you, Rock. You take this serious discussion of rape, sex abuse, human trafficking, etc, as a “yawn.” Then call the person who wrote it a misandrist.
Someone’s both angry and trying to project they aren’t.
You wouldn’t call me a misandrist if I was a man. This is directed at me because of my gender.
It’s also unoriginal. I could have used “misogynist” in my articles. I haven’t.
I find it
1) doesn’t add anything new and
2) detracts from my overall point that boys and men are also hoodwinked and conditioned by the deliberate commercialization of porn and a predatory, anti-woman culture.
My next piece may be how porn and prostitution harms men.
We are talking about women abused in porn and prostitution. That normalizing BDSM is dangerous and unhealthy. That most women didn’t choose prostitution freely or happily, and are low income, trafficked or come from abusive backgrounds.
But you think I hate men, because I don’t believe men are entitled to buy women’s bodies for sexual pleasure.
I care about the sexual health of women and men, and don’t think anyone (male or female) should pretend that violence in sex has a moral high ground because consent was obtained.
Rock
I read where you wrote, “Brazil is full of idiotic machismo, rampant femicide, homophobia and fascism.”
Do you actually watch or read the news, Ruth?
They’ve just elected a properly socialist president who’s hopefully going to try to save the Amazon rainforest, unlike his predecessor, whom you no doubt secretly fancied.
Machismo is a Latin thing, always was. Rampant femicide sure, rampant homicide in general. I’ll wager there’s as much homophobia and fascism in swathes of the US, not to mention Europe.
Ruth:
I read news about Brazil. I have also been there. I was there when Bolsonaro got elected. It was terrible. But Lula is terrible. Even the left agrees.
They call it “choosing between eating vomit or feces.”
Bozo is the feces. An obviously slightly worse choice. But Lula is also terrible.
Now, onto “homicide is bad in Brazil, therefore there is no need to address femicide.”
People who study criminal behavior know that sex crimes and domestic violence are a separate category of crime from other crimes, and are not influenced by the same drivers.
Poverty doesn’t have a correlation, culture does.
Rock
You wrote, Ruth, that “People think Brazil is a “hot, sexy, free” place because of the marketing of hot Brazilian women.”
I don’t know anyone who thinks that. Maybe 15 years ago before the economy crashed. Even then it was full of favelas and rampant poverty.
You say Brazil is “Unsafe and unhappy for women”? Try extending a little – it is unhappy for men, children, household pets, clumps of rainforest, species on the brink of extinction.
Ruth
I can also attest that everything you said about Brazil NOT being hypersexualized anymore by foreigners and Brazilians is untrue.
I’ve been there. I’ve had multiple thirsty comments directed at me when I told people I went to Brazil.
The comments were to the effect: “Oh are they hot there! I heard both the women and the men are hot!” “Oh did you get a Brazilian?” (cringe) Oh I’m jealous, I heard the women there are so hot!” “Omg I bet the ass there is so good!”
Rock
I will again quote you Ruth: “In the US, Utah has the highest porn consumption. And it’s an extremely conservative place. The more conservative you are, the more extreme gender roles are. The more extreme gender roles, the more the subjugation and exploitation of women. The more women subjugation and exploitation, the more violence against women.”
What you fail to understand, Ruth, is that the more the law tries to clamp down on these things, the more people want them. The forbidden apple tastes sweetest.
BTW, what stats do you have for the comparative subjugation and exploitation of women in Utah compared to the rest of the US? What evidence do you have that leads to sexualization or violence against women?
Ruth
Regarding extreme conservatism, the repression of porn/prostitution does not make it happen more, because it’s repressed.
What is repressed is real emotional intimacy between men and women who love each other, and normal gender relations. (see: Saudi Arabia) What is repressed is any form of healthy consensual, mutually respectful sex.
And what results is warped behavior. Both conservatism and corporate commercialization of sex do the same thing. They normalize women-as-object (lesser than men) and depersonalize people from each-other in healthy intimate relationships.
Both religion and corporations don’t want you to not need them for guidance and satisfaction.
People who have fulfilling lives with healthy relationships tend not to need externalized authorities or multiple purchases to feel satisfied with themselves.
Rock
Again Ruth, you write, “Men do not consider the massive extent to which domestic violence exists in our societies, nor do men want to admit that 80%-98% of violent sex crimes are by men.”
Remember Lorena Bobbit? I know, extreme example, but here’s the point – a far fewer percentage of men report incidents of domestic abuse than women. That’s just a fact.
Domestic abuse legislation introduced throughout the world has undermined a man’s legal standing in the home, as armies of men have been thrown out of their family homes for crimes as ‘serious’ as getting the wrong shopping on a regular basis.
It’s called ‘gaslighting’ and ‘coercive control’, those BS terms ringing out of social media like a harpy’s screech.
In many European jurisdictions, ‘coercive control’ has become a criminal felony, even though lawmakers haven’t even been able to define it in law, simply because it means different things to different folks.
Everyone should be equal before the law, including men and women.
Ruth
I will address the alt right (men’s rightist, incel) canard that women might be “just as violent as partners” as men, and men are just too scared to report it.
Really?
Throughout history, it’s women who run most police and judges in the world, intimidating and dismissing male victims from reporting crimes?
It’s women that have made the laws for most of human history? It’s women who were historically owners of their men when married? It’s wives who institutionalized their husbands for not being sexually available?
It’s men who have been barred from speaking in the halls of power or even attending academic institutions?
It’s men who have been sterilized without their consent? It’s men who are the victims of mass rape during wartime? It’s women who are drafted into war, because women are expected to be more violent?
Can you give me a statistic on how many men are hospitalized by the violence of their female partner per year? How many men are killed? How many mothers murder their children by beating them to death, compared to men? How many women engage in murder-suicide of their family or simply fratricide?
You throw out single examples too. Like Lorena. This is called the “spotlight fallacy” aka the fallacy of composition.
You hope to take the tiny 5% (actually even less than that) of outlying cases, and throw a spotlight on it, ignoring the majority. You then jump into speculation that this whole time, globally and in history, we just haven’t seen the truth, and this tiny minority is actually the tip of the iceberg.
Rock
Ruth, you write, “Most men do not consider that normalizing brutal, controlling behavior against women as a form of sexual satisfaction stretches from the family model (what the child learns) all the way out to every part of society.”
How do you explain that just as many guys go regularly to a dominatrix? They love to lick her boots, be tied up, spanked and whipped with various chastising instruments, dressed in nappies, and given all manner of demeaning abuse and insults. Ever wonder what kind of childhood they had?
No doubt you believe they then go home and beat the shit out of their wives, assuming they’re still alive (the wives I mean).
Ruth
The BSDM world is not 50/50 male submissive and male dominants. It’s more like 95/5 or 90/10 dominant males.
Rock
You write, “Healthy women don’t choose to be prostitutes.”
Oh really? Ever read ‘Playing the Whore’ by Melissa Gira Grant? I recommend it. She was a prostitute, so she knows what she’s talking about.
You also said that “In Amsterdam, the red light district has so much crime, it is cordoned off from the rest of the city. Police report men feel emboldened to misbehave, leading to so much crime it’s hard to police there, to the point where people stop being compliant and groups are hostile to the police. Drug use is rampant. Trafficking is rampant among the brothels. And most women report being assaulted while on the job.”
It’s obvious you’ve never been there. I’ve been there quite a few times – one of my favorite cities. Cordoned off? Nonsense – it’s right in the center of town. I never saw a single cop day or night. There’s no cops, because there’s no crime!
Drug use is rampant all over the city – in every ‘coffee shop.’ They call them that, but they’re primarily for smoking decent weed. Alanzo would love it. There’s no trafficking in the brothels, because they’re properly regulated and unionized. Assaults rarely, if ever, take place.
They have their own security and everything’s above board.
Ruth
I’ve also been to Amsterdam. I had two harassing experiences in the red light area. So. I’m pretty sure, as a man, you wouldn’t’ experience what I experienced.
Very typical, “I didn’t see anything, therefore nothing exists” fallacy of the especially flat-brained.
Here’s something from the Netherlands Times:
https://nltimes.nl/2018/07/30/amsterdam-center-devolves-lawlessness-night-ombudsman-says
Rock
You write, “Buying a woman’s consent is also a form of coercion aka rape.”
So says an opinionated misandrist. Love the selective citations: easy to back up your arguments using Google.
“Most importantly, [prostitution] is nearly always allowed for certain classes, and certain cases, like during wartime, or in certain closed off areas. India, Russia, Europe, China.”
What about Utah? LMAO
Ruth
Regarding Utah, they go next door to Nevada for prostitution.
Regarding you believing buying consent is not rape. Coercive consent is not enthusiastic consent. Would you give other men blowjobs for money 12 times a day?
Imagine if you had to, because you had to feed your child, pay rent, or get your drugs.
If you consented to suck 12 dicks a day to pay your rent, where otherwise you would never do that, would you say you were fully consenting?
If your wife demanded sex from you because she was the breadwinner who paid for your food and housing, would you say this was a healthy relationship?
If not, how is it fully consent when it’s got the label “prostitute” on it?
If it is the same as any other form of labor, fully consensual and moral, why is it sexual harassment if the bank boss asks the teller to also include handjobs in her job description, along with a year-end bonus or promotion?
Is sex like any other action that can be termed labor? Is it as neutral to the body and mind, like flipping burgers, being a plumber, or accounting?
Does it do the body good to reduce your pleasure, and instead turn the act of sex itself into a chore for others’ benefit, not your own? Is it good for your mental health?
If it is the same as any other form of labor, why are the rates of PTSD, drug use, and suicide for ex-prostitutes as high as those of veterans?
If it is the same as any other form of labor, then shouldn’t we train children to do it, and let children pretend to be prostitutes for career day or Halloween?
Is sexual assault just like any other assault? Is being beaten the same as being raped?
There is a reason why this is illegal for a landlord to do to a tenant, for a wife to a husband, or a boss to an employee. But somehow, if you just slap the word “prostitute” on, it becomes acceptable, and it somehow exists removed from all the ways it is putrid and inhumane in any other situation.
