This is Part 3 of Keith and Cami Texts.
Part 1: Keith and Cami Texts: The Perverted Mind of a Monster
Keith Alan Raniere ends the year 2014 with Cami with demands of obedience. Cami responds, alternately, in a depressed and defiant manner. In the end, he gets her to vow her obedience.
He is having sex with numerous other women at the time, which Cami knows, including her sister, Mariana [Her other sister, Dani, had left Raniere by this time].
Raniere, as he did with many women, told Cami that she was his special woman. During the time of these texts, Cami is 24 and Keith is 54.
Keep in mind that their relative positions are vastly different. Keith is the leader of the Nxivm community, with control of finances and, in effect, control of many of his followers’ lives. This is the only community Cami has ever known – since she was 13 or younger. Keith started having sex with her when she was 15 [possibly earlier].
In late 2014, she is a young woman, one of many young women. He is revered by all the Nxivm members.
Keith wants her to vow to obey him in everything. She is having trouble agreeing. This is months before the beginning of DOS where slaves had to take a vow. He is demanding Cami make a vow of obedience or she must move out of the condo on Victory Way he rented for her, where she has lived for more than 4 years in secret. Here is Keith at his cruelest.
***
2014
November 27, 1:24 a.m.
CAMI: Okay, I’ll change. What do you want me to do?
KEITH: Trust me 100 percent. Obey me 100 percent. I will come up with an immediate test. Any failure is unacceptable. You have to earn me. No out of causedness.
CAMI: Okay.
KEITH: Now, I need a vow of absolute obedience… No more uncertainty, doubts or not trusting. I need to know what happens if you fail or act unhappy. I expect you to text me this vow now… I expect you to answer right away, otherwise no go. You need to be happy, whenever you are with me because my time means that much. Yes?
CAMI: Reading. Just got a whole bunch of your texts.
KEITH: I need a yes or no now….
CAMI: I can’t do it, love [vow to obey]. I’d be wasting your time. Please don’t be mad.
KEITH: Right, pack up. [i.e. move out of the condo]
CAMI: Please don’t hate me.
KEITH: I’ll contact you tomorrow, please move out.
1:45 a.m.
KEITH:: No compromise. I have compromised too long and you have abused it. A stranger should have been treated better.
CAMI: What am I supposed to do? I’m sorry.
KEITH: Bullshit. Either take the vow and do what you know is right and love me or stop using the situation and move out. Simple.
CAMI: You seemed so nice earlier today. What happened? You’re being so heartless. What happened to your offer from last night?
KEITH: No, you are heartless. I am just making a firm demand for once [her vow of obedience]. If I were heartless, I would just kick you out. I am demanding what I deserve. There is nothing heartless about it. What is heartless is your behavior and how you treat me. Heartless is never even committing to fix what you did [sleeping with Robbie, a young man she had sex with a year or so before]. You abused last night’s offer. No more discussion… You change dramatically or leave. This is the last time I’m calling. Your phone rolled to voicemail. It’s up to you.
CAMI: My phone died in the middle of the text. Why are you being so cruel? Please don’t.
KEITH: That’s insulting.
CAMI: I have no one to go to. Please don’t be like this. I’ll do whatever you want. Please don’t be like this.
KEITH: Have I earned whatever I’m demanding? If so, it’s not cruel to demand it absolutely. If not, just leave. There is no cruelty. You … give me uncertainty when I have earned so much more over nine years, [they had been together for nine years– which brings them back to 2005 when Cami was 15] plus the things you’ve done are cruel. Calling me cruel in light of that is cruel… Text me your vow. Prove to me you know I’m not being cruel at all… or else leave. It’s simple.
CAMI: I closed off the rest of my world for you. I don’t have friends because of you. I have no one to go to because of you. You can’t abandon me like this. I didn’t think you were capable of this.
KEITH: That’s a bullshit strategy. You would have betrayed me. You’re having a party tomorrow. Show me you know you’re being manipulative in a bad way or just leave.
CAMI: I don’t know what to make of all this.
KEITH: Your blame is revealing.
CAMI: I don’t understand how you could have the heart to do this. The you that I knew would never do this. What happened?
KEITH: This is my last text. I don’t deserve blame. I need a convincing apology, a proof you understand, and a vow. These techniques you’re using worked in the past. I just can’t give into them anymore. If I don’t get what I want, I want you out. I will not text unless I get it. Please stop the you-I-knew stuff, that’s really bad. You damaged me. Cut the victim stuff. I deserve this stuff and much more. You are making things worse with your strategies and I am beginning to feel very played.
CAMI: I will go peacefully. I will need a few days to deep clean the apartment. I have never felt such deep pain. I would have never thought that you would do this. I think it’s your right to kick me out or set boundaries, but you don’t.
1:54 p.m.
KEITH: The vow doesn’t have to be that long.
CAMI: I get fearful because I project you will abuse that power.
KEITH: There will be times it will seem like I am. I won’t, but it is part of proving trust. If it never seemed questionable, then it wouldn’t be trust. I’ve earned trust. Do it now, please.
CAMI: Okay.
KEITH: Text it now.
CAMI: I vow to do as you say.
KEITH: A hundred percent obedience?
CAMI: A hundred percent obedience. I don’t know why I’m scared shitless.
KEITH: You’re scared because you’re serious, that’s good. Okay. Today you must be more or as much adult than everyone. You must be the model of restraint. No alcohol of any sort. Not a sip. And eat very little. You must build yourself to be a new woman, one that is serious about her future. … You also need to be responsive to me at all times, including now.
CAMI: Shit. Well, I’m already questioning because I don’t understand why I have to do that since I don’t want to be that type of woman; never have.
KEITH: Do you want honor, dignity, respect or love? I could have said: Prove I am most important. Drop everything. Stay home today, clean and certainly don’t go to Wilton [her family’s home]. It’s an insult. So I am being mild. What I said serves many purposes. You actually do want to be that type of woman. You react to terms such as slut or whore. As you age, you will be seen more and more like that if you don’t change. That is true even if you’re married or … celibate…. I don’t want to keep calling you to get you to answer. Please check our WhatsApp frequently like I do for you.
***
November 28
KEITH:: How much do you weigh?
CAMI: I don’t know. I think 120.
KEITH: Why did you gain? You were 113?
CAMI: Lack of exercise during intensives.
KEITH: You then need to eat less… The extra weight hurts my heart physically when I am with you.
***
December 1
CAMI: I thought a lot about you and about us today.
KEITH: And?
CAMI: Part of me feels like I don’t want to be with you. Part of me wants to stay. Part of me wants to stay with you because I know it is right. All of me loves you. But I realize why I feel certain ways about you. I feel you as a parent, as a god. That’s why your comments hurt so much. I take them as truth. You are the holder of truth. And also why part of me won’t admit I did something bad because the gods are indestructible. With a lot of our dynamics, this feels very present, and although logically I know that you are not my parent, a big part of me feels the need to break away from the dependence, to be independent. I never wanted you to be my parent, but I feel sometimes we fall into that dynamic.
KEITH: I understand. In this specific case, you should want to give your god everything, certainly more than you would have ever have given R [Robbie]. Your belief of unsafety and intimacy with me is the real problem, especially if I were to come over and rest with you. The larger picture things you mentioned we can speak about, but it is necessary you start needing to serve me, please me, earn me, to make anything right.
CAMI: It seems like that only makes the dependency stronger. That feels super fearful.
***
December 2, 12:57 p.m.
CAMI: Were you serious about having children with my sister or were you using that to scare me?
1:03 p.m.
CAMI: You know how much we went through because of your relationship with her. I always felt that you chose her over me. If you have children with her, you’d be making the ultimate statement that that was true.
***
December 4
CAMI: Your words still haunt me. I desperately want you to know you’re not correct, that you were not wrong about us, but I just fucked it up big time. One of the things you said was that I didn’t want to have children. It was very painful to hear you say that, so I’ve been thinking about what to do about that. I’m sorry that I ever led you to believe that was true. If that is what you think of me, then maybe my sister is the best person to have children with. You are not a prize I am competing for, you are my love.
KEITH: Think of what– think what of you, honey?
CAMI: That I don’t want you to have children.
KEITH: You wouldn’t discuss or help me with the alternatives [with whom to have children with]: You, your sister, other or none. You haven’t done what it takes for you. I’ve cut off other options and although you won’t do what it takes for you, your sister [Mariana] is intolerable. This is what you presented about the subject. I don’t want to think that, but I see no alternative.
***
December 7
{Keith is again breaking it off with Cami. She is working now for Rainbow Cultural Garden, the child experiment program that Raniere dreamed up. Cami speaks in Spanish to the children. He wants her out of the condo again.]
KEITH:: The apartment will need to be done first thing tomorrow: 8:00 a.m. Put all my things, money, etc. together. You need to increase your hours back to normal.
CAMI: I can’t do that. I moved it so they were not depending on me. I will be out of work. Does that mean that I’m not doing the education thing? Can I have longer [to move out] for the apartment? There are a few things I can’t do because of noise and neighbors.
KEITH: Please say something or we just go forward with this dissolution of us. I’m surprised that you haven’t written. I’m writing to say I’m very sorry for the whole situation and our interaction. I feel powerless. It’s up to you.
CAMI: I’ve been thinking. I want to be a model for my kids, especially G. I can’t lose G. I’ll do what it takes. Please don’t take him away from me. I’ll do whatever you want.
KEITH:: Then do what it takes. That involves being at cause, fixing what are now many misperceptions, eliminating pride, and treating me as I deserve and what should have been. No anger allowed starting today – starting now. I need to see what I feel are substantial things today.
CAMI: Okay. You won’t take him away from me?
***
December 8, 1:17 p.m.
CAMI: That’s bullshit. You control it all. You decide. I’ll do what you want. I don’t think what you’re doing is right. You’re abusing your power, but I am powerless and I want my kid. I was more there for him than you ever were. I don’t know how you can be okay with yourself doing this.
KEITH: Great start. I don’t think this is gonna work.
CAMI: I already told you I would do what you want.
KEITH: You have to change your behavior and values to be a model. Here’s one assignment to be done now. Prove to me what you said above was both mean and incorrect. It seems you have no concept of why you do the things you do, why you feel the way you do, or why I do the things I do. If you understood these things you would be so sad about what you have done and are doing. You would be sad at what I’m facing and you would be sorry for the way you treat me, the things you think, and what you’ve said. You still don’t get it?
CAMI: I feel like a prisoner. This is your world and your rules. If you suddenly decide to change the rules, which you have, it is fine because this is your kingdom. I can either abide by your ruling or leave. Unfortunately, I promised I wouldn’t, so I am in your kingdom under your rules. It doesn’t mean I agree. I had always believed you would never hold me like this, that you would let me go as you would say. You forgot to mention that would unleash your fury if I ever wanted to go, so I am all yours. What do you want me to do?
11:38 p.m.
CAMI: You have taken all my life.
KEITH: Please tell me how. Really, what do you mean so I can understand?
CAMI: You have taken everything that is important and meaningful to me. But it is more than that, you have branded me for life. Your words have destroyed me. I feel helpless and worthless. I feel dead inside.
***
Christmas Eve, 7:30 p.m.
CAMI: Wow, I am not the heartless monster you are making me out to be.
KEITH: Please move out. Do not come to volleyball. Do not come to Nancy’s tonight.
CAMI: I am not the monster you are making me out to be. You have it all wrong.
KEITH: Prove it. A monster would say that also for their gain. Taking a long time is what monsters do. Please stop. I’ve dealt with many monsters.
CAMI: Do you really think I’m a monster?
KEITH: Please don’t do this. This is truly a monster response, prideful and evasive. You just said you made one. Tell me your decision, please. I tried calling you to speak. You seem to be avoiding. Just look at this from my side. You’re seeming like a monster using monster strategies.
8:04 p.m.
KEITH:: That response is like a monster. I have not called you a monster yet. I’ve spent six months painting to prove you’re not. You are quite insulting and take everything I’ve done for granted. This whole time you have not fixed, but are playing victim. If you’re not a monster, shouldn’t I act as I am?
Or if you are a monster, shouldn’t I act as I am? Isn’t my moral duty to those who depend on me? Prove you are not a monster, that is what’s needed. Stop accusing me falsely of calling you one. You’ve done monstrous actions. Prove you are not a monster. It is only right. You’ve done monstrous actions. It is morally right you prove you’re not a monster. That means you’re not a victim. Not going to blame. Not going to feel sorry for yourself. Not going to distract. Please say something compassionate, caring and not monstrous. I have tried calling you to speak. You seem to be avoiding. Just look at this from my side, you are seeming like a monster using monster strategies. Make your decision explicitly in cause without distraction or any strategies, please.
CAMI: You want me to enjoy being abused. It’s not going to happen. I am aware of the conditions. My life is yours. That is my decision. I hope to one day understand your actions.
10:49 p.m.
CAMI: I don’t know how to handle your actions. I considered ending my life again. I don’t think you realize how your words and actions affect me.
[Overall a not very nice Christmas Eve for Cami]
***
December 27, 10:44 p.m.
[Keith has Cami agreeing to find him a virgin]
KEITH:: No. You have to find someone, somebody else for us.
CAMI: I know of a 26-year old virgin, but you won’t like her.
KEITH: Maybe not. Why?
CAMI: You only like the pretty ones.
KEITH: Not only, but for the purpose of successor the virginity has to be for certain reasons.
CAMI: ?
KEITH: Was she the exo-eso virgin? [exo-eso is an expensive Nxivm class with yoga and exercises added].
CAMI: Oh, which one is that? Sorry, which is that one?
KEITH: Who is she?
CAMI: You first.
KEITH: Lola’s gay cousin?
CAMI: ? — oh.
KEITH: And yours?
CAMI: I didn’t know she had a gay cousin. Name? Is she cute?
KEITH: I can get it. No, not cute, plain.
10:58 p.m.
KEITH:: Okay. Get the R [Robbie] situation right [Cami has to atone for having sex with Robbie by finding Keith a virgin for him to have sex with]. Find other virgin. A third slave doesn’t have to be a virgin. [The third slave – after Cami and the virgin, does not have to be a virgin. The third slave would be available for threesomes with Keith and Cami.]
CAMI: Third?
KEITH: A slave would be a third person. I wouldn’t want it without you.
***
December 30
KEITH: Does Ana know suitable virgins? You will create trouble with your beauty and your smile.
CAMI: Nah.
KEITH: Yes. Few rational men or women can resist you. Was nah for that or the virgin question?
CAMI: That. I don’t know about the virgin question.
KEITH: I would so much like to spend time with you.
Stay Tuned for Part 4 of Keith and Cami texts.
