To All Current Nxivm Members:

This is Part 2 of the Keith and Cami texts. Here we get into discussions of enforced weight loss, threats of being thrown out of her home, and Cami being told what she must do to make up for the horrible crime of having a sexual tryst with Robbie. 

This is your Vanguard. The most ethical, spiritual and wisest human being on the planet. So how come he comes off as a complete asshole?

Part 1: Keith and Cami Texts: The Perverted Mind of a Monster

All of these text are from 2014

2014

August 24  

[From Silver Bay YMCA resort, on the shores of Lake George, in the Adirondacks, during Vanguard Week, the 10 day celebration of Keith Alan Raniere’s birthday. Hundreds of people attend it, paying more than $2,000 each to be there. Cami is 24. Keith is 54.]

Cami: Where are you and where will you be?

Keith: In my cabin… Are you free?

Cami: Not now but can be soon. Which cabin?

Keith: Let me know….

Cami: Okay. Will let you know. Update? Till when are you free?

Keith: 4. [a.m.]. Small risk around 2 [a.m.] of your sister [Mariana finding out about them meeting. Keith is also sleeping with Mariana].

Cami: Okay.

Keith: When do you think we can meet my love? I waiting…

Cami: I hadn’t been able to connect to check in.

Keith: I love love love you so. When can you possibly sneak away? How are we? How was the module last night? I wanted to bite your emoticon. When can we possibly meet so I can taste you?

Cami:  What does your schedule look like?

Keith: I’ve had a few offers for my birthday [August 26]… No virgins that I know of… But I’ve been intentionally saving it for you… I want you… Maybe after 6?… I avoided the dinner trap… Was hoping we could meet… But you got trapped!!! Shit!!! … I was contemplating your sleeping in the cabin… But you’d have to be very careful… No lights, etc.. I was trying to reach you for quite some time… [sad face emoji].

Cami: My honey. I have failed with technology. I got trapped without technology, so I couldn’t communicate. I wanted to run away with you. I was sad you left with Monkey [nickname for her sister Mariana]. I hope I can see you.

Keith: I want so much for you to find a way to go to our cabin and be there for me tonight without being discovered coming, going or staying there. This will require resourcefulness.

Cami: I just wanted to check in. I was struggling with some stuff. I heard from Monkey [Mariana] that you are coming to breakfast with the family. Why am I hearing this from her and not you?

Keith: I am not coming to breakfast… They really want me to do some meal with them… I just found this out after I spoke with Simply… I wanted to speak to you about the situation…

Cami: Okay. Let me see. Can’t promise anything, though.

Keith: It is such a painful, bittersweet thing… The truth of our life together that could have been made real yet now is forever a secret and nullified… I love you so much… I’m so proud to have been your husband for 8.75 years [8.75 years as her husband brings it back to Nov. 2005 – when Cami was 15 years old] … and shared a home for 4 [years on Victory Way, their secret rented condo where Cami lived and Keith came to visit]. Yet I am also so heartbroken. When are you home?

Cami: Home now.

[I believe he is heartbroken over the fact that Cami evidently had an affair with Robbie, the son of one of Raniere’s Nxivm teachers. Even though Raniere is sleeping with Cami’s sister, and numerous other women, Cami, like the other women in his harem, were not allowed to be with any other man.]  

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September 14th

Keith: You don’t hurt enough or desire me enough… Postulate-wise you need to feel better, more strongly, and be more desirous of me in every single way compared to anything with R. [Robbie]

Cami: Okay. I thought I did.

Keith: Doesn’t seem that way. For example, you don’t crave me sexually. That was especially needed during the past 24 hours.

Cami:  What does that have to do with R?

Keith: Sex. It is not only shared by us as a thought object. There is subconscious evaluation, comparison, and postulates… It is very destructive. I/we really needed you to want me sexually yesterday and earlier.

Cami: I don’t know what to do, then. I offered [to have sex with Keith].

Keith: You were almost asleep. You offered seemingly more as a favor instead of needing it so badly you couldn’t live without it… You need to be more aggressive, by far, than you ever were with R.

Cami: Okay.

Keith: Take the most you want of something with him and your internal desire has to be more with me.

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October 7, 4:54 p.m.

Keith: Why are you still protecting what you did with R? Why won’t you face this in yourself so things can get better?

Cami: I don’t have the answers you are looking for… I’m sorry.

Keith: Please find them now… Ask yourself those questions… Visualize what you did, how you made those decisions [to have sex with Robbie] and see the future evaporate. Also see yourself being the type of person you don’t want to be… It should deeply disturb and disgust you… I hate to be so crude, but it will build your conscience to strongly see our little child [the baby she was promised] saying, ‘Please mommy don’t,’ as you spread your legs, and picture that child withering as you do and get [understand] that’s what you did… [by having sex with Robbie]

Cami: Whoa.

Keith: You seem not to acknowledge the crudeness of the raw destruction… It should be deeply disturbing and disgusting. It’s you doing that in reality.

***

11:40 p.m.

[Keith explained that Cami lost her chance at being Keith’s successor because she had sex with Robbie].

Keith: What didn’t you consider?

Cami: The effects. I had no idea the successor thing even existed.

Keith: I don’t believe that’s completely true… You also knew the purity thing [not having sex with any other man her entire life; she was a virgin when Keith first had sex with her when she was 15] was a strong value… I told you many times… But even if it didn’t exist for anyone other than us, doing what you did, with someone like R…  Even with anyone far better… Should bring disgust… On a general level, what does it say about the reliability of your love? Your word? On a small level, what do your actions the last few days of our vacation say about your traits? How can you feel these things are okay? Even if I’m not around, you would have to hate them… The only way I can explain these thing is defiance. Pride. If your pride doesn’t break now with this, you will own it the rest of your life. Your lack of immediate response is the worst yet…

Cami: It takes me a while to process what you say especially something this heavy. I feel like I’m under attack.

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October 8th

[Keith, in denigrating Robbie, told her that even Farouk would have been a better man than Robbie to have had sex with. This was not a compliment to Farouk. It was a way of denigrating Robbie.]

Cami: I don’t understand this.

Keith: What don’t you understand?

Cami: Why [is] Farouk… better than Robbie?

Keith:  Why not? Why is R special? Why did you type his full name?

Cami: Oh, I was thinking out loud. Should I not have?

Keith: No. Curious. I don’t use his name for several reasons.

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October 14 – 3:35 a.m.

Keith: Do you have physical desire?

Cami: Can emotional be enough?

Keith: If you want me to come tonight. I will under these conditions: There will be no talking. You will meet me at the door in the outfit you think I would find sexiest. You will arouse me. We will make love for my satisfaction and pleasure. You will do everything you can to provide that. I will finish and leave. Do you agree yes or no?

Cami: Is there a reason why you picked 4:00 a.m. for this?

Keith: Forget it then.

Cami: No no no.

Keith: Then?

Cami: Why no talking?

Keith: Goodnight.

Cami: I don’t understand what’s going on!

Keith: Too much pride. I’ll text you tomorrow.

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October 19 – 12:32 a.m.

[Keith told Cami and other women that he was spiritually and physically hurt by their being too heavy. In Cami’s case he was also hurt by her having bulimia or rather that she threw up food she ate. He sometimes appears to refer to bulimia as her vomiting her food.]

Keith: How would you lose the weight like you promised?

Cami: Like I’m supposed to.

Keith: ?

Cami: Calories and exercise.

Keith: You don’t get how much this hurts. Calories and exercise haven’t worked.

Cami: Haven’t worked? They always work.

Keith: When was the last time you weighed 100? You were also supposed to lose the weight for my birthday… They don’t work because you don’t do this consistently. So, I’m really crushed you B [bulimia] tonight.

Cami: I am under threat now. Fear is a tool.

Keith: You’re making light of the fact. You don’t care.

Cami: Excuse me?

Keith: That’s rude.

Cami: I’m sorry.

Keith: How will you make up for it? Maybe you should fast until you reach the weight.

Cami: Are you asking I fast?

Keith: Why do you always go out of cause? What do you weigh?

Cami: I don’t want to fast. I don’t think that’s the best way to lose the weight. You’re the one that mentioned it, so I’m asking if that is what you want.

Keith: That doesn’t follow. It is out of cause to take a suggestion and try to avoid deciding for yourself by posing it as a question. I deserve more consideration than that.

Cami: I don’t want it for myself.

***

12:47 a.m.

Keith:  … How much do you weight?

Cami: I don’t know.

Keith: That is really bad considering. Weigh yourself now?

Cami: 130.

Keith: So how long will it take to lose the 30 pounds?

Cami: Two months.

Keith: Should be much quicker, needs to be much quicker.  That’s out of cause too, but this is about you, me and us. You can’t get to the me part unless you do the you part. Then once you’ve gotten done with the me part, you can begin on the us part. You need the weight done in one month. You need to be less than 120 by next Sunday. Ideally much less. Less than 115 would be best.

Cami: Okay.

Keith: If you were 115 and you lost five pounds a week, you can make the month. It does appear you need to be 115. Do you understand that you can’t help me without correcting/fixing you?

Cami: Yes.

Keith: Do you understand the importance of life of having a conscience?

Cami: Yes.

Keith: Do you understand conscience is having the capacity for great pain for bad decisions?

Cami: Yes.

Keith: Do you understand in order to have that you must consider others in your decisions?

Cami: Yes.

Keith: Like tonight, you did not consider how much your B [bulimia] would hurt me?

Cami: No.

Keith: That’s no conscience. Do you want to have no conscience?

Cami: ?

Keith: You had no conscience tonight when you made the decision to B.

***

1:22 a.m.

Cami: There are so many inconsistencies in what you just said. I don’t know what to do.

Keith: Point out one?

Cami: I told you this one before. I would ask and ask for help with the bulimia and your answers have always lose the weight first then I’ll help you. It almost felt like you promised it. Certainly not, but you had a problem with it.

Keith: Although it’s not highly relevant, it was lose the weight now and I will help you. Focus on the weight.

Cami: So now you’re saying that you had a problem with the bulimia when that was certainly not your priority.

Keith: There is nothing inconsistent even about what you said. The issue is evolving beyond your body. I just got your text and you were being prideful again instead of me doing this and you should show me how that is not a contradiction now. It is not. It should be easy. Also show me how you should have known your B. [bulimia] Hurt me. How your B hurt me.

Cami: I disagree. You’re demanding that I say I don’t doesn’t make it so.

Keith: You disagree with what?

Cami: Your accounts of the facts. This is a very sensitive subject for me. You may have thought you were an ally, but I actually felt very alone and misunderstood which I did tell you about. I agree that the issue has always been overcoming my body, but the emphasis you’re putting now on my bulimia seems to be inconsistent with what I experienced in the past. For years I asked you for help. So now for you to demand that I overcome it, expect me to do it with ease is hard. I don’t have an ally.

Keith: It would be best for you to assume I’m consistent and find out why you’re protecting or prideful. I’m known for my consistency, even by my enemies in the legal case. It is unlikely suddenly I would be inconsistent. I’m on the verge of cutting off communication [with Cami]. I need to see and prove to me you do. I’ve always been your ally and a great alley. Your last text is just untrue.

***

9:14 p.m

[Keith continues to criticize her for being overweight – by his standards – despite the fact that she has bulimia.]

Cami: Not true. I will diet and exercise.

Keith: It is true up to this point. You need to really care about it to hit 115 [lbs.] by next Sunday. How have you done today? I’m sorry to mention this, but it’s very important in several ways, even as a penance where you show yourself you care by not indulging. For us, for me, for you, please don’t B [bulimia] tonight. After last night, I didn’t think I would have to ask.

Cami: Oh, I have not done that. I thought this was exactly about the weight. Please don’t ask me that.

Keith: How much do you weigh now?

Cami: I don’t know. I will weigh myself in the morning.

Keith: How did you know 130 [lbs.] last night?

Cami: By stepping on the scale.

Keith: Why not now? Keep in mind the pain for me around B. You stopped for several days for a misogynist [Robbie?] who played you.

Cami: My bulimia is not about you. If this is your idea of helping me overcome it, to force it out of me, it is probably the worst approach. Please don’t.

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October 23

Cami:  I don’t think we are a naturally perfect match, but I love you more than anything.

Keith: What things are not naturally perfect for you?

Cami: We don’t share the same sense humor, touching style. We do share core values and love, but there are things that feel effortful.

Keith: I don’t necessarily agree, but there is an important point. Many years ago I could have argued the same. You are not the perfect, natural fit. You do not have much formal education. You were not a world-class athlete. You were not a musician, blah, blah, blah. I made you my standard of pointed work and attribution. If there was something that wasn’t perfect for me, I’d change my definition of perfect for real.

Cami: I understand.

Keith: I made you my standard of beauty. What I thought was beautiful before in some case doesn’t even rate. It is now compared to you. By definition, nothing can be as beautiful or good. There could never be an R [Robbie] for me no matter what her qualifications. [He was having sex with numerous women at the time]

Cami: Kristanna got close and that was natural. No?

Keith: All is compared to you as the standard of perfection. Kristanna did not come close. I just started to enjoy that she wanted to learn and apply changes. Had it continued and had she changed to my liking, she would have become much shorter, dark-haired Mexican. Oh, yeah, she would have had to become you.

Cami: Hahaha.

Keith:  No. She has natural fits with me but all that is important as compared to you. She doesn’t get why I talk about you like that. I used to find some light-haired women attractive. I moved my standards so much it was hard to stomach them. Even brown hair is washed out for my taste now. Ten years ago, that was not the case.

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October 24

Cami: Love, I really hate that I feel like I have to ask you for permission to do anything outside of my schedule. I don’t want us to be like this.

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November 8

Cami:  Who do you go to challenge you? Since you are the highest rank and you are so revered by the community, who challenges you?

Keith: That question may come from pride or not, also an underlying socialism or not. I would have to see the person and how they asked. Of course for me, all people challenge me, as do all things.  That is a summation of our 8.5 years together. Hard for me to bear. I don’t know what actions can be done to reverse the verdict and change the record. I don’t know how to get back that part of me that died today.

Cami: Please drop the views of think. I only mentioned it briefly. I feel like you’re going to a place where it shouldn’t be because it’s not true.

Keith: What is not true?

Cami: What you are making yourself to be. Please let it go for now. I love you.

Keith: Maybe you’re just underestimating the significance of a rapid association. The thought of me should never come up in an abuse question and R definitely should. How am I incorrect?

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November 23, 11:33 AM

[Keith wants Cami to treat Robbie like he raped her, even though he did not and it was a mutual attraction and consensual sex. Keith wants Cami to make this evident to Robbie.]

Cami: It was frightening that you are commanding that.

Keith: ? It’s frightening what you did again. I can’t believe you just wrote that.

Cami: I feel at your mercy.

Keith: You either fix, leave or we’re done. That’s awful. I’ve been at your mercy and you abused the power. I want to know you understand your abuse.

Cami: Yes.

Keith: ? Then fix, leave or we’re done. Which?

Cami: I’ll fix.

Keith: How?

Cami:  I’ll treat him {Robbie] like a rapist.

Keith: That’s what you should have done. You already told the rapist that you can’t be taken seriously. What more care are you going to do to get back what you lost?

Cami: I don’t know.

Keith: You need to go to him, tell him you tried to be friendly but can’t stomach it and that he should please stay away without him thinking you’re infatuated. He needs to know you’re disgusted, like you would a rapist.

Cami: I’ll try.

Keith: Not good enough. Leave now. [move out of the condo at 120 Victory Way.]

Cami: No. I’ll do it.

Keith: This is more serious than you know. How can you allow these things? Say something. When did the sitting thing happen?

Cami: I want to feel free. I feel my entire person depends on you. It is very scary and suffocating. I can’t remember.

***

12:03 p.m.  

Keith: Call me now? That’s last chance. Move your stuff out tonight. [He is threatening to kick her out on the street]

Cami: I wish you didn’t make me into a monster.

Keith: You are treating me that way. Anything else to say? I’m going over to start moving some things out. Nothing else? I will block you [her phone] in one minute and then I can’t reverse it. Your pride won. I guess I still can’t believe you’re really uncaring when I’m the one who’s damaged. I want you moved out by tomorrow morning. Then there’s a few things that need to be done.

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November 24

Cami: I feel like your puppet.

Keith: I will reassess all of these interactions. He will. As for you, that doesn’t help me. If you feel like my puppet, I don’t know what to say. You should know me better. I won’t work that way. What I’m asking you to do is rightful. How you’re treating me is also important. Please respect my morality.

Cami: You’re asking me to do something I’m not comfortable blindly.

Keith: How can I unblind you? To fix other things you will have to do things absolutely blindly. This is simple and rightful. Honestly, if I haven’t even earned this level of trust, we are nothing with no hope. You should want to prove yourself. At this point I should never have to argue a request. The harder the request, the better. You wanted to be my slave. This is the opposite. But I have earned the trust.

Stay Tuned For Part 3