By Barry Cuda
Family Law Attorney
Like a teeming fish market, alive with the day’s fresh catch, Parental Alienation [PA] turns family disputes into a thriving marketplace – with beer-battered mothers for dinner.
In the theatre of legal charades, the naive fail to realize PA [pronounced PAy] is a choreographed dance of musical chairs.
Today’s opposing counsel is tomorrow’s guardian ad litem, and the GAL, a card-carrying member of the PA club, might be representing the father in the next act.
Like a honey pot, sweetening the deal for those who find PA, everyone’s a winner.
PA is the golden goose comfit with truffles stuffing.
PA is like a hen laying diamond eggs.
Like a cascading waterfall, constantly flowing, PA creates the gurgling sound of a cash register clacking, hearings, assessments, consultations every liquid step along the way.
PA is an overflowing treasure chest, gleaming with countless riches.
PA is like a blooming money tree, sprouting green promises.
In the grand carnival of legal proceedings, therapists, GALs, and custody evaluators are the star performers and know their lines by heart! Their script? Find Parental Alienation (PA).
Your experts are like a weighty anchor, holding firm your ship of ambition.
In the bustling bazaar of family courts, a special stall stands out, gleaming with an aura of nobility and virtue: the Guardian ad Litem (GALs), the champion of children.
For GALs, every recommendation, court appearance, and hour of ‘child advocacy’ adds coin to her piggy bank.
Why might a GAL be pushing for another court date? There may be a vacation in the Bahamas they’ve been eyeing, and frequent flyer miles aren’t going to earn themselves.
In the grand orchestra of legal manipulation, the father’s attorney and the mother’s attorney must be synchronized violinists, harmoniously pulling strings to have the judge serendipitously appoint a custody evaluator — someone from the “goodfellows” club, like yourself.
GAL Jocelyn Theftakid-Hurwitz, the wolf of Cohen
Like a lighthouse beam guiding the judge safely to prosperous ports, the custody evaluators scrutinize home lives, parenting prowess, and kids’ affiliations while handsomely compensated.
In this grand circus of family court proceedings, there’s the act of custody evaluations. Here’s where the professionals shine the spotlight on their own wallet.
Jesscia Ugassly-Caverly, Custody Evaluator.
Like a magician’s hat, PA is full of surprises and tricks.
PA means the court must order a therapist for Mom, one for Dad, one for each of the kids, and a family therapist.
Who wouldn’t want to play detective when there’s a lucrative paycheck attached? The psychologists or other specialists get to chat with the kids, maybe play therapy games, and voila! Parental alienation is diagnosed!
In the chessboard of custody battles, professionals are strategic players making moves with an eye on the next paycheck.
The Referral Rumba: Therapists, GALs, and custody evaluators master a fast dance where spotting PA is the clave rhythm that keeps them in step. Missing out on the beat means missing out on future referrals.
Dependence on Drama: A smooth case is a dull case! Professionals thrive on dramatic complexities. With complexity comes extended involvement. Like a sturdy bridge connecting dreams to reality, PA extends PAychecks.
Reputation and Recommendations: Find PA, and referrals keep coming. Those who don’t find it find themselves like a human cannonball shot from a giant cannon soaring through the skies landing alone, far from the recommendation loop.
Secure Future Bookings: Like any industry, securing future business is essential. If you can’t spot PA now, how can you spot it in the next high-stake case?
Your mother made you hate me you little shit. I’m gonna punch you right in the face.
The Ignorance Card: Our model depends on people trusting the courts and believing therapists, GALs, and custody evaluators are neutrally plying their trade without vested interest. PA plants the seed, but stupidity waters it.
Judge Gerald Idle Adelman
The judge, draped in his imposing black robes, is perceived as the epitome of fairness and impartiality but the path to the bench is rarely paved with merit. Many a time, it’s not about legal acumen or a passion for justice but who you know in high places and political games. The judges know on which side their buns are buttered.
The robe doesn’t represent the brightest mind but the shrewdest heart.
Judge Thomas Porcine O’Neill
After the final judgment, we have ongoing legal oversight. Assessing the arrangement’s efficacy brings in billable hours, ensuring professionals are financially snug.
