General, The Cult of Keith Raniere

Keith Raniere is not a hypochondriac

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by
Frank Parlato
Frank Parlato

Reports of Keith Raniere claiming to have cancer again have NOT been confirmed.


On numerous occasions in the past, Mr. Raniere diagnosed himself as having cancer and the worst was feared.


While Mr. Raniere appears to be physically exhausted at present, there is no indication that he is, once again, facing cancer.


On one frightening occasion, he pointed to a mark on his neck and informed frightened followers that he was going to die.  Fortunately, he was able to either heal himself from cancer or perhaps it was not cancer.


It was later ascertained that the mark on his neck was a mole. It is not known whether he converted a cancerous growth into a mole or whether it was always a mole.


He also had repeated bouts of low blood sugar and said he was at death’s door, according to numerous eye witnesses.


In the early days of ESP, he would heal himself from near comatose states by having Pam Cafritz drive to Taco Pronto on Western Ave. and return with a large, extra hot burrito to elevate his blood sugar. If one burrito was insufficient, Mr. Raniere would requisition Miss Cafritz’s burrito which was good for her as he was guiding her on a low calorie diet.

After Taco Pronto went out of business, other Mexican burrito remedies were employed to assist Mr. Raniere to recover from his afflictions.

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Mr. Raniere, because of his low blood sugar, informed disciples that “when he needs to eat, he needs to eat.”


He also explained he had heart ailments that could take his life away at any moment.


If a woman strayed from him and bedded another man, that alone could kill him.


He would lay on the couch and explain he was about to leave the earthly sphere. His frightened women would then massage his feet or feed him by hand when he was ailing, which at times, was for months at a stretch.


He never missed any meals, thankfully. He also carried protein bars with him to ensure he got the proper intake of calories.


In explanation of his eating more than the women he has placed on restricted diets, he said he was eating not only for himself but eating to consume the karmic debts of students.


He eats for the welfare of the women, he has said.


Many times, he said, it was his students who were causing his ailments and when they were particularly defiant, they were literally killing him.


“If you are going to dance with the devil you have to wear asbestos pants,” Mr. Raniere said.


This explains why he had to eat more than the women. He was fighting like the devil for his students.


Mr. Raniere’s claim that he does not need to sleep also has much to do with his health ailments, some sources say.


While people have called his claim about sleeping only three hours a night a total fabrication, some of his his followers say that when it appears he’s asleep, he’s actually in deep meditation or thinking deeply.


He has said he does his best thinking in a dark room on a bed or futon with his head on a pillow. In this relaxed state, he can ponder the pressing issues of his students. He does this sometimes for eight to 10 hours at a stretch.


He often appears physically exhausted from taking care of the needs of many women.



His condition of Erectile Dysfunction (ED), which many of his harem have recently complained about, also does not indicate prostate cancer but rather could be a mere case of spermatorrhoea, a condition of excessive, involuntary ejaculation caused by his selfless service to his female students.  And his usual go-to cure for his ED – i.e., bringing in a new batch of young, nubile slave-women – just doesn’t seem to be working any more.


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