Editor’s note: In this insightful account, we hear from a woman who knew Catherine Kassenoff when they were growing up in Wheeling, West Virginia.
The narrative unfolds with the recollection of a once reserved and reclusive Catherine, who stood out as a high achiever and high school valedictorian in their town. The author’s limited familiarity with Catherine’s life as an adult takes a turn when Catherine’s social media posts unveil a startling transformation.
Two things the author notes in particular are that she “vouches” that Catherine’s family did not know in advance of her suicide, and implies that she, and perhaps her family, are not 100 percent convinced Catherine killed herself.
The author asks that her name be withheld. Given the attacks she experienced from some of Catherine’s supporters, her request is understandable.
By ‘Laura Parker’
I have known Catherine since I was seven, although I would be lying if I said I knew her intimately, but Wheeling was a relatively small town.
Wheeling, West Virginia
We attended the same private schools, but I was more familiar with her brothers than her.
I remember Catherine as quiet, shy, nice, and reserved. She was a super high achiever and valedictorian of her high school class.
Her brothers were high achievers and star athletes that many girls would fawn over. Their family was always super reclusive. If there were some family turmoil that her family was privy to, you would never know it from appearances. Dad was super nice and a physician, Mother was British and, I think a housewife, also very sweet.
As we grew up, I eventually became Facebook friends with Catherine, as people from Wheeling who attended the same schools were apt to do.
From her Facebook, it appeared she had gotten married a little later than everyone else, but other than that, she was not a regular poster, and she seemed to have a good life (or as much as you can derive from a FB profile).
Allan and Catherine Kassenoff in happier days
Then, all of a sudden, a couple of years ago, this stuff began.
Someone who was known to be so reserved and reclusive started posting pictures of herself living out of her car. It was brought to my attention by other people from our hometown and naturally, people from my hometown would IM me about her posts.
My impression of her posts was that.
1) Yes, her husband was an absolute jerk that treated her horribly but…
2) I could not imagine that posting these videos publicly (she did not keep them private) helped her case in any way, shape, or form.
In fact, I did make that argument to her while offering her sympathy and hoping she got her kids back (as did others).
My comments were met with an onslaught of Catherine’s disgruntled fellow warriors, who even would go so far as to look on my page and make disparaging comments about my pets (that I found almost amusing).
I was called a “miserable childless woman” and mind you, I said I hoped she would get her daughters back, but had the audacity to suggest that maybe playing this out publicly and putting out videos of her children without their consent wasn’t the way to go.
Some of her “warriors” were also Q’anon supporters; by that, I mean losers.
The whole thing felt entirely off and naturally garnered attention.
Out of curiosity, I checked out her ex-husband’s page, and he seemed to be modeling himself as the stable doting father.
Allan Kassenoff holding his daughters
Catherine would also publish posts where she would say defamatory things about his “mistress” and even post on Allan’s page accusing the other woman of wearing her clothes. As a side note, the girlfriend thing was weird. She clearly acted as Allan’s cheerleader, but she still had her ex-husband’s last name and pictures with him as her profile photos? But I digress.
What struck me as creepy about the whole thing was that Cathy would announce previews that she would be posting more videos in the following weeks, almost like she wanted her “viewers” to be in anticipation.
Yeah, that’s not normal.
There was also a video of her accusing him of “stalking,” and she is filming him from a distance during a soccer game, and he… isn’t…. doing…anything, and at one point, you can hear one of the parents asking her “Is there some sort of problem?” and then she cuts off the audio.
Allan Kassenoff can be seen in the distance with his phone up taking a photo or video
It’s unclear whether Allan is filming his daughters or Catherine
What was also deafening was the silence of her family. You got the sense that perhaps they were laying low and waiting for this all to go away.
The email from her brother to her makes perfect sense, given the presence online. She never mentioned anything about her family.
Having said all this, what I find so disturbing is how black and white people portray this.
Catherine, from what I could tell, CLEARLY had some mental health issues, and I can only imagine:
1) Having an asshole for a husband who thought it was okay to talk to his wife like, combined with
2) Multiple fertility treatments etc., and then cancer would have done much for her emotional health.
Neither of these individuals is blameless. Let’s all agree that non-toxic parents don’t do the following:
1) Call their wives fat losers in front of their kids (even if they are angry with them or estranged) or speak to Catherine the way he did. He has no justification for that, even if she was mentally ill.
2) Play out the details of their divorce in front of their kids, which they BOTH did (what was CLEARLY more important to both of these parties is “who looked better (or worse)” with zero thought or concern about how this might affect their children.
3) Heckle and or remind their kids of the horrible things the other parent said about them. The audio of Catherine asking over and over “Did your father call you a fucking retard?” is so goddamn disturbing it made me want to cry. Seriously, that poor little girl [eldest child] and the amount of emotional terror she endured are beyond disturbing.
4) And lastly, commit assisted suicide without allowing her children or members of her family (who I can vouch did NOT know) to process or say goodbye.
NO ONE – I repeat – NO ONE makes someone commit suicide. That was her choice. She had other options.
I believe Catherine loved her daughters, and I believe Allan probably does too.
So, what we can hope is that if her suicide is fake, she gets herself together, gets some therapy, and can have a life with her kids when they are older.
I would also hope that Allan feels some contrition for what he did, and accepts responsibility that NO MAN should talk to the mother of his children the way he did. That was abuse, plain and simple. I hope he is at least contrite and is doing everything he can to ensure those girls’ emotional stability. I don’t wish any of these parties ill will, particularly for the sake of those girls.
